Growth Spurt
by Nassa
Summary: Naruto was NOT a happy camper. T for minor swearing.


Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto who is not me.

A/N: Thanks, yet again, to my awesome sis for beta-ing this. Love ya.

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Naruto was not a happy camper. Actually, that is such an understatement that if you told your mother that, she would cry from the shame of having such a deceiving child. Now at this point, most people would assume that some devious ninja or another had done something horrendously horrible as to incur such ill will from the normally outgoing boy, but they're silly geese and wouldn't know what they were talking about.

Naruto glared his mightiest glare at his opponents, looming above them in an attempt at intimidation, however they were not fazed in the slightest and continued to defy him, the nerve! He finally couldn't take it anymore and vocalized his indignation.

"Damn clothes! Why wont you fit!?"

As it were, the focus of Naruto's frustration was not a ninja, or even a person, but a couple of inanimate objects...figures.

"Stupid punks! You _will_ bow down to your master!" Naruto finally had enough and decided that if they would not cooperate he would _make_ them.

He wrestled on his shirt with some difficulty and proceeded to shove himself into his jacket with limited success. The sleeves were halfway up his forearms, the jacket ended at his belly button, and it was so constricting it wouldn't even close. The last straw came when he was trying to squeeze himself into his pants and he heard a distressing _riiiiiiip_ sound. Naruto froze, then turned as much as he could in his current state, and saw a big rip on his behind. Most likely his pants had done it in a final act of rebellion.

The birds in the trees around Naruto's tent took flight as he finally let loose the string of expletives -which had been building since this whole ordeal started- that were so obscene and creative they won't be repeated for fear of melting ears.

--

Jiraiya was a man of many alluring qualities; he was an accomplished writer, the ladies loved him, and he was great with kids. Well, at least in his very humble opinion. Said awesome man was currently making breakfast in a nice, quiet, and relaxing clearing as he waited for his apprentice to show up.

The Great and Awesome Jiraiya almost dropped previously mentioned breakfast as the tranquil quiet was abruptly ripped away with all the delicacy of a crashing freight train. Jiraiya could almost hear his blood pressure rising as he listened to a couple rainbows' worth of colorful oaths and watched as all the birds within 300 feet took to the skies like the fires of hell were after them.

As Jiraiya waited to see if anything else would happen, he saw Naruto storming towards him clad only in boxers and sandals.

"Why are you half naked?" asked Jiraiya, slightly disturbed.

"This is all your fault, you stupid old perv! I've been telling you that I need more clothes for months now, but do you listen to me?! NO! Now I have nothing to wear because nothing _fits!_" Naruto exploded with all the ferocity of a rabid mother badger.

"Hey! It's not my fault you're growing so fast brat! Besides, if it bothered you so much why didn't you buy new clothes yourself, eh?"

"Well, I _would_ have, if you hadn't used all of my money up on your stupid sex-capades!"

"Oh yeah? Well I'll have you know- wait sex-capades? I like that word, I should use it in my next novel!" Jiraiya proclaimed while he took out a small notebook. He began franticly scribbling, completely forgetting the subject at hand along with the fuming teenager.

"Hey you old prune! I'm not done talking to you!" It was no use though, Jiraiya was already lost in his own M-rated world. Naruto sighed exasperatedly and walked back to his tent, grumbling about degenerate limp noodles the whole way. Once he was inside, he went to his backpack and found Gama-chan, peeking at its contents. Naruto sighed again at the small amount of change left, threw on a simple Henge and left for the nearest town, hoping he could find a good deal.

--

Walking through town, Naruto thought about his new teammate and how he wore a funky belly shirt thing that showed his pasty ass abs for all to see. Maybe he too had a stupid teacher who spent all his money and refused to buy him clothes when he needed them. Thus forcing him to take up sowing to make new clothes from the old ones and any cheap fabric he could afford, but clearly not having enough and obligating him to improvise.

Naruto had to admit that Sai had been smarter about it then he had been. He'd take walking around in a belly shirt over wearing hot pants again any day.

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A/N: I'm not entirely sure where this came from, especially considering I was listening to Sairin: Kata Tsubasa no Tenshi Advent:One-Winged Angel when I wrote this up. If there are mistakes feel free to tell me, and please review :D


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